10. They get food everywhere. There is never a meal that doesn't make it onto the floor in some way shape or form.
9. Now that they're potty trained we spend half of our outings looking for bathrooms before they have an accident.
8. They always want the same toy even though we have 43,812 other toys within six feet.
7. We now have to watch "Animal Mechanicals" when I give them the choice of a cartoon.
6. They have learned what a dessert is and they want it...a lot.
5. They have waaaaay too much energy for me at 6:00 a.m. and 6 p.m. (and most hours in between)
4. I'm not allowed to sing. Every time I open my mouth I hear "Excuse me. Can you stop that?"
3. I still can't go to the bathroom alone most of the time.
2. They're pretty good eaters but I still can't go to any restaurant that doesn't have chicken nuggets, pizza, or mac 'n cheese.
1. They have no concept of time.
It's the last one that is really getting to me. I cannot wait until time has some meaning for them. When I have to leave for work or bring them to a doctor's appointment or get them out the door for story time at the library they don't care that we have to leave NOW. They can't leave until they have looked at the toilet paper roll (which they have seen before), the toy train (which they just played with for the last hour) and the speck of dirt on the floor (which is just a freakin' speck of dirt!!!). By the time we get out the door I've lost half my sanity.
I'm learning that I'm not a very patient person. I am a professional who arrives to work early and plans out his day depending on how long it will take to accomplish each task.
These two types of people do not get along.
Today the conversation was this...
Aaron: How long until we get to the play place?
Me: Not long. About 6 minutes.
Aaron: That's not very long at all.
Me: No, it's not.
Jeff: How long?
Me: About 5 more minutes.
Jeff: How long?
Me: About 5 minutes.
Jeff: But how long? (as if inflecting the word will make actually cause time to change)
Me: About an hour.
Jeff: But how long?
Me: Did you not hear what I said to you and your brother? About five minutes.
Aaron: That's not very long. That's just (counts on his hand) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
Me: That's right.
(pause)
(pause)
Aaron: Daddy?
Me: What is it, sweetie?
Aaron: I'm waiting a long time.
Sometimes it's just hard to know that my entire morning will be spent going to the supermarket which is three blocks away. It really is a trip that can take a couple hours.
I miss my pre-baby sense of time. It really was pretty nice.
