Saturday, January 13, 2018


When I was going through surrogacy I met a lot of people online through my blog.  They became my online family because I became so attached to their stories at the same time they intensely followed mine.  I am friends with a few of them on Facebook and maybe one day I'll get to meet some of these fantastic surrogates and parents in person.  I think of many of them often but, unfortunately, many of them stopped blogging once their children were born.  I wish I knew if the Cinderella story blog ever had a happy ending or how Bernadette is doing after her life altering story of strength, love and heartbreak.

Recently I thought about the two blogs I followed about triplets.  After making it almost six years with twins I can't imagine life with triplets.  The reason they popped into my head was because we recently went swimming at the Y and am ice skating party.

My kids have been taking swimming classes for a while now and although one is starting to actually swim and they other is pretty close to the "I think he can flop his way to the wall" stage, I still wouldn't really trust either one of them to swim alone.  The Y had a rule that the kids had to be within an arm's length of the adult.  Luckily we had two adults to be with two kids.  I'm not sure how I would have handled it if the dads were outnumbered.

Two weeks later we went to an ice skating party.  This was the second time my kids have been on skates and they looked like this...

Derek and I each had a kid to "teach" (a.k.a. carry around the ice and pick up after falling).  I was exhausted by the end of the party.  How on earth could we have handled three???

I am amazed by parents who have large families.  I feel I barely have the energy, money, time and patience to parent two let alone three or four or more.  People are amazed that I have survived almost six years of twin parenthood but, as I always say, I don't know any other kind of family to parent.  As life dumps more on your plate the only thing you can do is deal with it.  So I commend those parents of triplets who just do what they have to do.  I hope to hear from them to see how they're doing, and my heart goes out to the dad who has to ride alone on the teacup ride because it only fits four people or doesn't get chocolate pudding for dessert because a box only makes four servings.

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

When Did I Become A Parent?

A couple years ago Derek and I had a bottle of champagne in our fridge in December.  Because going out on New Year's Eve is so hard when you have young kids we decided that we were going to throw a mimosa brunch New Year's Day party.  We invited over some friends and had a great time.

Last year we did the same thing.

This year we did it yet again.  We bought the champagne, prepped the food, baked some goodies and had about 20 people over to our home.

At one point the 11 kids in the house (yes, ELEVEN!) were all running around yelling and laughing and chasing each other and having a good time.  All of a sudden I had that feeling of "Oh, this could be a memory for the kids.  They might grow up thinking of all the New Year's Day parties we threw."

I had a flashback to the New Year's parties (and other parties) that my parents threw when I was young.  I remember helping my mom make the punch (it was sherbet, ginger ale and probably some other stuff and we would add a huge ring of ice to the ginormous punch bowl) and being told I wasn't allowed to throw anything into the bathroom garbage can after it had been emptied.  I remember setting out hors d'oeuvres in the rarely used living room and playing in the basement with other kids from the neighborhood.

Somehow, without me realizing it, I became a parent.  I became the person who helps give my kids experiences that make memories.  At almost 6 years old they may actually remember these days.

The big secret in parenthood is that children think their parents know how to do everything but, after becoming a parent, you realize that parents have no idea what they are doing.  My parents gave me so much and made it look effortless.  Now it's my turn.  I want to keep in mind that all the stress, anxiety, lack of confidence and confusion I feel won't be remembered -- what will be remembered are the experiences we shared as a family.