A thought has been running around my head today. It's a thought that pops up in my head from time to time and today it has been swirling around again.
I think the thought appeared because I had a (socially distanced and masked) conversation with some lovely neighbors who have kids the same age as mine. We were talking about what this year has been doing to our kids on every level: academically, socially, mentally, emotionally, etc. Our general consensus for our families is that we are not overly stressed about our kids on an academic level. We are more concerned about what is happening in our kids' brains and hearts.
So the thought bouncing around my head is this: the kids who are my kids' peers are really the ones who determine if my kids will thrive or crumble.
Stay with me for a minute as a I ramble...
Today we watched a show in which two boyfriends competed as a team. After winning the competition one boyfriend proposed to the other. My kids had no questions about it. They didn't see this as anything unique or different or needing an explanation. (Of course having gay dads is the main reason this is just normal for them.) And I thought to myself that when kids accept gay couples as just a regular part of life it changes how they react to others. When a friend comes out in high school (or junior high even) as LGBTQIA++ that kid could face two realities: he/she/they could be supported or ostracized. That child could feel safe and comfortable and happy and accepted and all those other warm fuzzy feelings, or the child could become the laughing stock of the school and talking with that person could be social suicide. The other kids in school have such power over that kid just based on their responses. What makes that child different could become a positive or a negative based on how other kids react.
The same holds true for a kid with a stutter.
Or a kid in a wheelchair.
Or a kid who is homeless.
Or a kid with autism.
Or a kid who is bi-racial.
Or a kid who is overweight.
Or a kid who is any number of things that don't fit our majority version of our world.
As my kids grow up and boys and girls separate, jocks hang out together and look down on the awkard kids, cool girls decide who isn't cool, smart kids get labeled as "nerds" and sometimes try to hide their academic skills, and everyone finds their own groups the judgement becomes harsher. This year I can't imagine almost any kid coming out of the pandemic unscathed in some way. Kids will lose friends due to isolation, feel more anxious due to a parent's stress, struggle with academic subjects, and more. Every kid could use a little kindness and acceptance as we make our way back to some sort of normalcy in a few months. Can you just imagine a world in which kids supported each other instead of judged each other? Can you picture a world in which every child felt safe around their peers to just be who they want to be? My dream is for my kids to be in school, focus on learning, and not worry about what others want them to be.
I guess, after writing this, my dream is nothing new or revolutionary. It's just worrying about what my kids will face as they grow up. Peer pressure is real. All those "-isms" we read about are real.
But what if they weren't? What a beautiful world that would be.
