Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Moms vs. Dads - Aren't They Both Just Parents?

I'm not usually one to say "poor me."

I am part of a couple "privileged" classes: I am white and a male.  I am part of a few minorities too: I am a vegetarian and I am left-handed which are relatively minor in the grand scheme of minorities.  I put up with little inconveniences because of those two statuses like going to steak houses for a friend's birthday and having to order the salad or being forced to play field hockey in my high school gym class which ONLY has right handed sticks.  I am also gay and Jewish.  Being a part of these minority groups make for slightly aggravating situations like some nasty jokes and not having some rights (which is changing ever so quickly!).  For the most part, however, I don't feel like I'm oppressed and I don't have a big need to complain.  I have a pretty good life and I'm treated well in this world.


The one minority that is most frustrating to me now is being a stay-at-home-dad.  When my kids were first born I found some interesting articles about dads being ignored on the playground and not being invited to lunch dates with stay-at-home-moms.  I didn't think much of it.  As my boys grow older and we join more classes and play in the park more I have started to think of it more and more.  Dads as caretakers really are not as welcomed or celebrated as I had hoped.  The thing that is really making me write this entry was this video that is making it's way around the internet.

24 Applicants Were Terrified To This Job. Then They Found Out Why Billions Already Do It.

If you haven't seen it, it basically shows people applying for the toughest job in the world that includes working 20 hours a day, standing almost the entire time, no vacation time, working harder on holidays, requiring degrees in medicine, nutrition and finance, and getting paid $0 in salary.  At the end of the video the interviewer says the job title is "Mom" and people cry and profess their love for their mothers.

Well, what about us fathers?  Don't we do a lot of the same work?  Couldn't we have said the job title is a "Parent"?  Why are moms revered and dads always a distant second?

My mom was a stay-at-home mother with me for many years.  My dad went out to work.  Although my dad was out 40ish hours a week he still found time to teach me to throw a ball, parallel park, ride a bike, read Hebrew, help with my math homework, take care of me when I was sick, mow the lawn, assemble my toys, and attend every single one of my concerts and plays.

If I were in that video I probably would have bawled like a baby saying how much I love my mom.  I hope, though, that I would have remembered to mention my dad as well.

Twenty years from now, if this my sons are in an interview like this, I hope that the job position will be for a parent or caregiver.  Mothers are wonderful, but we need to teach that fathers are wonderful too and can do everything a mom can do.


  1. Just so you know.... You're a COOLER parent than I am!! Would you adopt me, please?! <3 <3 <3

  2. I felt the exact same way about that video. Just wait until the boys start preschool and you start getting solicitations for "moms to chaperone a field trip" and "room moms". Ugh. Arizona brought home some paperwork from kindergarten one day and refused to show it to Joel because his teacher had said to give this to his mom. *sigh*

  3. I agree, it should have been parent/caregiver.

  4. I'm dreading this future, myself.