Emotions

Jeff has a habit of piling blankets, pillows, stuffed animals and whatever else he can find on top of himself and tuning out the world when he gets upset or sad.  The first week or two we moved into our house and he wasn't sleeping in the same room as Aaron for the first time he slept under his bed which I think made him feel safe.  He finally stopped doing that when we told him he could take his mattress out of his room and bring it into Aaron's room.

A couple days ago, when Derek told me that Jeff was buried under blankets and holed up in his sleeping bag, I went to see what happened.

I asked Jeff if he was OK.  He clearly wasn't.  He was extremely sad and holding onto his favorite teddy bear in a death grip.  He told me he was feeling sad as tears welled up in his eyes.  I asked him if he wanted a hug.  Although he sometimes doesn't want affection he welcomed a hug.

My mind started to race as to what was happening.  I wondered what big issue I was going to have to address.  Our cat is very old and sick and we have talked about death.  I thought maybe he realized that Derek and I are mortal and will be gone one day.  Maybe he realized HE will be gone one day.  Could that be it?  Maybe this COVID-19 pandemic was getting to him.  We just found out a few days ago school is cancelled for the rest of the year.  Could he be sad about that?  Maybe he's upset because he can't see his teachers or his friends?  What new, complex, problem with no solution would I have to explain before noon?

"Can you tell me what's making you sad?" I asked.

He nodded.

"What's up?" I gently asked.

The tears started to flow.  In a strained voice he managed to say, "Aaron gave away his bear and that's my bear's best friend!"

(Whew.  This I can handle.  This isn't a death/pandemic/origin of life level kind of question.)

Aaron, who wanted more stuffed animals, had agreed to get rid of some that he didn't want and replace them with new ones.  Luckily Derek had packed them up but hadn't gotten around to donating and/or tossing them.  So bear's best friend is in the trunk of the car.

Bear and bear's best friend (neither of whom have names more descriptive than "bear" are now back together again.