Newton's third law states: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Did you know that this law applies not only to objects but babies as well?
So apparently Aaron sleeping through the night means that he wants to sleep less during the day. As his nighttime sleeping has increased, the ease in which we can get him to nap and sleep for the night has decreased. We can see the eye rubbing and the hair twirling. We sometimes see yawns. We see his gaze becoming glassy from time to time. We know he's tired. We know he wants to sleep. And yet, when we go into his room to put him to bed it's like WWIII. Somehow a 9 month old baby often wins the battle against a pair of grown men.
My guess is that he doesn't like waking up alone and in a dark room. But that theory doesn't always hold true because sometimes he can wake up happy. Here's what we know...
- He's happy being held in most rooms but when we walk into his bedroom to put him down he squirms (and screams)
- He's happy being in his bedroom to play so it's not an issue with the bedroom
- He's can be content playing in his crib so I don't think the crib is the issue
- He's unhappy going to bed during the day and the night so I don't think it's an issue of him not liking the light or the dark
- Baths, feedings, pacifiers, soothing music, shushing, rocking, singing, playing until he wears himself out, a new diaper, and everything else we use to get him to sleep are all hit or miss; we have to just keep trying things because we don't know what will work
- We go see the pediatrician tomorrow (hooray! I don't actually think I'll get a good solution because "babies are babies and do what they want" but at least I'll get to know their current weight and height)
This started out like a physics problem but I think I'm going to have to be Sherlock Holmes to solve this riddle. I was never good at science but luckily I often figured out who the thief was in Scooby-Doo cartoons so I think I have a chance at solving this.
After going through surrogacy and having twins, this is the story of my life after fulfilling my dream to become a father.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Sleep Part Nine: 'Twas The Night Before Leaving
'Twas the night before leaving to get on a flight.
The boys were put down on a cold winter's night.
We'd fed them with milk and cereal too.
We'd rocked them and kissed them and said, "I love you."
Derek went to bed, while the night shift I took
As I packed up my suitcase into their room I looked
No crying. No fussing. Sweet dreams filled their heads.
So about 1:00 a.m. I crawled into bed.
In the morn I saw Derek. "What time did they wake?"
He looked at me puzzled. His head he did shake.
"I planned to ask you the very same thing!"
It was then that we think we heard angels sing!
It appears to be true. The boys slept through the night.
Eight or nine hours! Oh, what a delight!
Their daddies were happy...no...thrilled is the word.
A full night of sleep is a night that's preferred.
Since that beautiful morn on December eighteen
We have had fewer wake ups from our two jumping beans.
It's not every night that we don't hear a peep.
But it seems they are learning the value of sleep!
Can you believe it??? After almost 9 months Derek and I are starting to get sleep again. We don't always have a totally quiet night. Sometimes we get up to give a little water (or even milk if they're really inconsolable). Last night was horrible. Aaron awoke and screamed and fussed for about an hour -- twice! But we're having more and more nights of waking up just to replace a pacifier, giving them a kiss and a five minute cuddle and watching them fall back to sleep. I'm starting to feel human again. I'm remembering what it's like to be happy to wake up in the morning. I guess when the babies realized the world wasn't going to end on December 21st like the Mayans predicted they decided they could afford to sleep more and see things just in the daytime.
Although I'm a little late, we wanted to wish you all happy holidays. Here are some pictures of us celebrating Hannukah and Christmas.
The boys were put down on a cold winter's night.
We'd fed them with milk and cereal too.
We'd rocked them and kissed them and said, "I love you."
Derek went to bed, while the night shift I took
As I packed up my suitcase into their room I looked
No crying. No fussing. Sweet dreams filled their heads.
So about 1:00 a.m. I crawled into bed.
In the morn I saw Derek. "What time did they wake?"
He looked at me puzzled. His head he did shake.
"I planned to ask you the very same thing!"
It was then that we think we heard angels sing!
It appears to be true. The boys slept through the night.
Eight or nine hours! Oh, what a delight!
Their daddies were happy...no...thrilled is the word.
A full night of sleep is a night that's preferred.
Since that beautiful morn on December eighteen
We have had fewer wake ups from our two jumping beans.
It's not every night that we don't hear a peep.
But it seems they are learning the value of sleep!
Can you believe it??? After almost 9 months Derek and I are starting to get sleep again. We don't always have a totally quiet night. Sometimes we get up to give a little water (or even milk if they're really inconsolable). Last night was horrible. Aaron awoke and screamed and fussed for about an hour -- twice! But we're having more and more nights of waking up just to replace a pacifier, giving them a kiss and a five minute cuddle and watching them fall back to sleep. I'm starting to feel human again. I'm remembering what it's like to be happy to wake up in the morning. I guess when the babies realized the world wasn't going to end on December 21st like the Mayans predicted they decided they could afford to sleep more and see things just in the daytime.
Although I'm a little late, we wanted to wish you all happy holidays. Here are some pictures of us celebrating Hannukah and Christmas.
Friday, December 28, 2012
Sleep Part Eight: No Milk For You!
Oops...I forgot to post this. I wrote this about a week and a half or two weeks ago. I think it was on December 14th. Here's another update on sleep.
So we're coming up on nine months old and the babies still aren't sleeping through the night. However, we have improvement. Here's an update.
A week or two ago I decided that Daddy was tired of these overnight feedings. As I mentioned before we have tried giving them more milk, less milk, water, cluster feedings, extra food before bed and nothing seems to work. One night I decided that they just weren't going to get any milk overnight and I'd see what would happen. I work as an interpreter and I had recently interpreted for a parent with a baby several months younger than mine. The doctor said that by 3-4 months babies have enough fat that they can make it through the night without any feedings. "What???" I thought. "These babies have been duping me for half their lives now!"
So one night, when the boys woke up, I just picked them up, gave them a pacifier and rocked them back to sleep. I was surprised how well it worked. It took five minutes for them to calm down but the crying didn't continue as long as I thought.
Some of you more experienced parents may be saying, "duh...that's how you do it" but I'll tell you that I have tried this method every month or so and usually the crying continued and got louder minute by minute until a bottle made its way into the screaming mouth.
So we haven't had 100% success, but we're getting there. We are getting longer stretches of sleep and we're able to get them back to sleep quickly (and without milk) pretty often. Derek and I are getting closer and closer to a full night of sleep.
And if anyone wants to tell me about how sleeping patters get worse from time to time, save it for 2013. This is the holiday season when we all hope our dreams will come true. Let me live in my fantasy world that in the next month or so I'll be getting 8 hours of sleep every night for years and years to come!
Also, for those of you who commented on my recent crawling post, Derek and I did have a baby gate and knew that was the best solution. We were hoping we wouldn't have to hop over a gate every time we went into the bathroom, but after 2-3 days of Jeff's fascination with a litter box we gave up and installed the gate. Now Jeff tries to scale the gate. After just a short time of it being up you can see his tiny foot lift up and search for a foothold as he clings onto the gate hoping not to plop on his butt since he is balancing on one foot. It's pretty cute.
So we're coming up on nine months old and the babies still aren't sleeping through the night. However, we have improvement. Here's an update.
A week or two ago I decided that Daddy was tired of these overnight feedings. As I mentioned before we have tried giving them more milk, less milk, water, cluster feedings, extra food before bed and nothing seems to work. One night I decided that they just weren't going to get any milk overnight and I'd see what would happen. I work as an interpreter and I had recently interpreted for a parent with a baby several months younger than mine. The doctor said that by 3-4 months babies have enough fat that they can make it through the night without any feedings. "What???" I thought. "These babies have been duping me for half their lives now!"
So one night, when the boys woke up, I just picked them up, gave them a pacifier and rocked them back to sleep. I was surprised how well it worked. It took five minutes for them to calm down but the crying didn't continue as long as I thought.
Some of you more experienced parents may be saying, "duh...that's how you do it" but I'll tell you that I have tried this method every month or so and usually the crying continued and got louder minute by minute until a bottle made its way into the screaming mouth.
So we haven't had 100% success, but we're getting there. We are getting longer stretches of sleep and we're able to get them back to sleep quickly (and without milk) pretty often. Derek and I are getting closer and closer to a full night of sleep.
And if anyone wants to tell me about how sleeping patters get worse from time to time, save it for 2013. This is the holiday season when we all hope our dreams will come true. Let me live in my fantasy world that in the next month or so I'll be getting 8 hours of sleep every night for years and years to come!
Also, for those of you who commented on my recent crawling post, Derek and I did have a baby gate and knew that was the best solution. We were hoping we wouldn't have to hop over a gate every time we went into the bathroom, but after 2-3 days of Jeff's fascination with a litter box we gave up and installed the gate. Now Jeff tries to scale the gate. After just a short time of it being up you can see his tiny foot lift up and search for a foothold as he clings onto the gate hoping not to plop on his butt since he is balancing on one foot. It's pretty cute.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Adventures In Crawling
It's official. We have two crawlers now. Aaron has been crawling for a while. It has been kind of a crude crawl/drag/hip swivel type movement, but he has been mobile for a while. Jeff recently became mobile and started crawling very well. He went from barely moving to somehow crawling the length of our apartment in a minute within a few days. I guess Aaron then saw that if he didn't swing his leg around the side and kept his knees on the ground he would crawl faster too. All of a sudden Aaron's awkward slither/scoot/wriggle became a very efficient crawl too.
A couple days ago I felt like Indiana Jones. You know that scene when he is running through the ruins (I think he was in some ruins...isn't he always searching ruins?) and he loses his famous hat? Remember? He reaches under a quickly closing door and grabs his fedora, his most prized possession, at the last second? Well, I'm like that now.
Apparently little babies learn which rooms they shouldn't enter and decide to have an affinity for those places. Jeff's favorite place is the bathroom where we keep the kitty litter. We have to keep the door open so the cats can use their litter box and we have to keep the door closed so that our little munchkins don't get into the litter. This is like one of those 8th grade logic problems. You know the type. It's like the problem when you have a goat, a wolf and a head of lettuce to get across a river. There is an answer, but you have to be creative about it.
A couple days ago I was washing bottles. I was keeping an eye on the little ones, but the reality is that my attention had to be split a little bit. Jeff was at one end of the apartment happily banging toys together. I washed a bottle. I looked at Jeff and he was now clapping and smiling. So cute. I washed another bottle. I saw Jeff rocking on all fours smiling at Aaron. Adorable. I wash anot --- oh $#*! -- Jeff is suddenly at the bathroom door! How did he get there???
I threw down the bottle I was washing, turned off the water, ripped off the rubber gloves, ran over to my speed demon and scooped him up at the last second just before his hand hit the litter mat.
Aaron can be just as devlish. I swear I turned my back for two seconds to make a bottle for lunch and somehow the little munchkin disappeared from right before my eyes. Then I heard a wail. He had crawled between the legs of a kitchen chair. It's funny to watch him crawl when something gets in his way. He doesn't quite know how to get over obstacles yet. Every once in a while he manages to struggle his way over a pillow or a diaper bag, but it's more luck than skill. This time he got his upper body across one of the little bars at the base of a chair and then didn't know how to get his head back out or his legs across to the other side. He got stuck in there for a few seconds. I had to maneuver the chair around his body while holding him, made sure I didn't bump his head and quickly got a bottle into his mouth. This was just like Indy removing that statue and replacing it with an equally weighted rock so as to not trip a booby trap.
Yeah...I'm just like Indiana Jones.
A couple days ago I felt like Indiana Jones. You know that scene when he is running through the ruins (I think he was in some ruins...isn't he always searching ruins?) and he loses his famous hat? Remember? He reaches under a quickly closing door and grabs his fedora, his most prized possession, at the last second? Well, I'm like that now.
Apparently little babies learn which rooms they shouldn't enter and decide to have an affinity for those places. Jeff's favorite place is the bathroom where we keep the kitty litter. We have to keep the door open so the cats can use their litter box and we have to keep the door closed so that our little munchkins don't get into the litter. This is like one of those 8th grade logic problems. You know the type. It's like the problem when you have a goat, a wolf and a head of lettuce to get across a river. There is an answer, but you have to be creative about it.
A couple days ago I was washing bottles. I was keeping an eye on the little ones, but the reality is that my attention had to be split a little bit. Jeff was at one end of the apartment happily banging toys together. I washed a bottle. I looked at Jeff and he was now clapping and smiling. So cute. I washed another bottle. I saw Jeff rocking on all fours smiling at Aaron. Adorable. I wash anot --- oh $#*! -- Jeff is suddenly at the bathroom door! How did he get there???
I threw down the bottle I was washing, turned off the water, ripped off the rubber gloves, ran over to my speed demon and scooped him up at the last second just before his hand hit the litter mat.
Aaron can be just as devlish. I swear I turned my back for two seconds to make a bottle for lunch and somehow the little munchkin disappeared from right before my eyes. Then I heard a wail. He had crawled between the legs of a kitchen chair. It's funny to watch him crawl when something gets in his way. He doesn't quite know how to get over obstacles yet. Every once in a while he manages to struggle his way over a pillow or a diaper bag, but it's more luck than skill. This time he got his upper body across one of the little bars at the base of a chair and then didn't know how to get his head back out or his legs across to the other side. He got stuck in there for a few seconds. I had to maneuver the chair around his body while holding him, made sure I didn't bump his head and quickly got a bottle into his mouth. This was just like Indy removing that statue and replacing it with an equally weighted rock so as to not trip a booby trap.
Yeah...I'm just like Indiana Jones.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Thanksgiving -- A Few Days Late
I had a lovely Thanksgiving and of course I have so much to be thankful for this year. My kids ate jars of potato & spinach and chicken & sweet potato last Thursday for the holiday. Those were the closest flavors I could find to a Thanksgiving dinner of mashed potatoes and turkey. We didn't actually take pictures the day of Thanksgiving. It was pretty much a normal day for them and our normal Thanksgiving tradition of spending it with a good friend of mine from college and his wife and daughter. However, since the boys just turned eight months old we took their eight month pictures a couple days ago. Here they are.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
The Truth, The Whole Truth And Nothing But The Truth
A few years ago I made the decision to start the surrogacy process as a single guy. After years of dating I gave up trying to find a partner in life and decided that being a dad was a more important goal than finding a husband. I knew that fatherhood alone would be hard. Well...I thought it would be hard. I didn't know what hard was.
My parents and my brother are on the east coast and I'm in Chicago. I love Chicago. It feels like my home. I have spent almost my entire adult life in Chicago and several years of my childhood. I had hoped that I'd be able to be a single dad here in Chicago raising my son or daughter fully knowing that it would be a lot harder without family nearby.
The idea of twins rarely entered my head as I started this process. I knew twins was a possibility, but when I envisioned myself as a dad I saw myself cuddling one child, driving that one child to play rehearsals and taking that one child to Disney World.
During the surrogacy process I met someone and we are engaged now and hoping to get married soon (if these stupid, discriminatory laws will ever change -- but that's a topic for another day). The truth is I don't know what I would have done had I not met him. Even with two of us I am exhausted, stressed and overwrought. I can barely function some days after being up only half the night while he takes the other half. When the crying is too much for me to take I have someone who can give me a break. When we need formula because we're almost out he can watch the kids when I run to the store. When I have washed 4,218 bottles and I don't want to wash one more I wake up the next morning to find all of the dirty bottles cleaned.
Two weeks ago I got sick. Very, very sick. On Sunday I was so sick I could barely get out of bed all day. I think about the fact that I went to a walk in clinic on Saturday and didn't have to lug my kids with me because Derek watched them. I think about the fact that for 4 nights I was able to sleep all night (and half the day) because Derek took care of them. Had I not met Derek I can't imagine taking care of two kids 24/7 while have a sore throat, muscle aches, fever and chills. I have no idea how I would have done it. And Derek did it all without asking me to lift a finger. He did an amazing job.
I have a lot more respect for single parents now. I have one friend who is a single mom of twins and I am in awe of how she has survived two plus years with them. I have other single parent friends who have dealt with evil ex-es, gravely sick kids in hospitals, huge life changes and I now am blown away by how they conquered tough situations AND took care of kids on their own.
So this Thanksgiving I am grateful to have Derek. Had I been doing this alone I would have had less time with the kids, more stress, less sleep, less money, more worries, and more meltdowns. When Derek offers help I have to remember that we are doing this as a team and it's OK to not do it all on my own. There are times when I get angry that he wants to help and it's because I want to prove to the world that I could have done this on my own had he not entered my life. The truth? -- maybe I could have poorly survived parenthood because you figure out a way to deal with what life gives you, but I would not be as good of a parent as I am. I would not have time at home with the boys to watch them grow and figure out the world. Without Derek the twins would not have eaten squash, known the joy of a Johnny Jumper, be with a great pediatrician and have as many pictures and videos to celebrate their lives.
So thank you, Derek, for entering my life, taking this wild parenthood ride with me, enriching the lives of Aaron and Jeff and making my dreams come true.
My parents and my brother are on the east coast and I'm in Chicago. I love Chicago. It feels like my home. I have spent almost my entire adult life in Chicago and several years of my childhood. I had hoped that I'd be able to be a single dad here in Chicago raising my son or daughter fully knowing that it would be a lot harder without family nearby.
The idea of twins rarely entered my head as I started this process. I knew twins was a possibility, but when I envisioned myself as a dad I saw myself cuddling one child, driving that one child to play rehearsals and taking that one child to Disney World.
During the surrogacy process I met someone and we are engaged now and hoping to get married soon (if these stupid, discriminatory laws will ever change -- but that's a topic for another day). The truth is I don't know what I would have done had I not met him. Even with two of us I am exhausted, stressed and overwrought. I can barely function some days after being up only half the night while he takes the other half. When the crying is too much for me to take I have someone who can give me a break. When we need formula because we're almost out he can watch the kids when I run to the store. When I have washed 4,218 bottles and I don't want to wash one more I wake up the next morning to find all of the dirty bottles cleaned.
Two weeks ago I got sick. Very, very sick. On Sunday I was so sick I could barely get out of bed all day. I think about the fact that I went to a walk in clinic on Saturday and didn't have to lug my kids with me because Derek watched them. I think about the fact that for 4 nights I was able to sleep all night (and half the day) because Derek took care of them. Had I not met Derek I can't imagine taking care of two kids 24/7 while have a sore throat, muscle aches, fever and chills. I have no idea how I would have done it. And Derek did it all without asking me to lift a finger. He did an amazing job.
I have a lot more respect for single parents now. I have one friend who is a single mom of twins and I am in awe of how she has survived two plus years with them. I have other single parent friends who have dealt with evil ex-es, gravely sick kids in hospitals, huge life changes and I now am blown away by how they conquered tough situations AND took care of kids on their own.
So this Thanksgiving I am grateful to have Derek. Had I been doing this alone I would have had less time with the kids, more stress, less sleep, less money, more worries, and more meltdowns. When Derek offers help I have to remember that we are doing this as a team and it's OK to not do it all on my own. There are times when I get angry that he wants to help and it's because I want to prove to the world that I could have done this on my own had he not entered my life. The truth? -- maybe I could have poorly survived parenthood because you figure out a way to deal with what life gives you, but I would not be as good of a parent as I am. I would not have time at home with the boys to watch them grow and figure out the world. Without Derek the twins would not have eaten squash, known the joy of a Johnny Jumper, be with a great pediatrician and have as many pictures and videos to celebrate their lives.
So thank you, Derek, for entering my life, taking this wild parenthood ride with me, enriching the lives of Aaron and Jeff and making my dreams come true.
 |
| Aaron is standing! |
 |
| Jeff has teeth! |
Friday, November 2, 2012
The First Halloween
I've been catching up on my blogs today and I've been looking at adorable kids in adorable costumes from Halloween. I love opening up the blogs and seeing pictures that make me smile. Then I realized that I haven't shared my Halloween pictures yet.
Derek and I thought about being twin Popeyes with twin Sweepea babies. After looking at the costumes online, though, we weren't sure that the Sweepea costumes would fit our boys. They only come as buntings and my kids are right on the cusp of outgrowing them. So after some thought we came up with these costumes. Hope you like them.
Derek and I thought about being twin Popeyes with twin Sweepea babies. After looking at the costumes online, though, we weren't sure that the Sweepea costumes would fit our boys. They only come as buntings and my kids are right on the cusp of outgrowing them. So after some thought we came up with these costumes. Hope you like them.
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