A lot of people have been asking me just what the boys call Derek and me. For almost two years I had said that I really didn't know what names Derek and I would have. A lot of two dad families have a "daddy" and a "papa" but "papa" just didn't feel right for either of us and neither one of us wanted that name.
I met a two Jewish moms who were married to non-Jewish moms. They both said that they thought about being called "ee-mah" which is the Hebrew word for mother but neither one of them felt strongly connected with their Jewish heritage to give up the name "mommy." I had considered using the Hebrew word for "father" as well, but "ah-bah" didn't feel right either. I kept thinking that I'd sound like my kids were fans of Swedish pop music from 30 years ago.
So Derek and I were "daddy and daddy" for a long time with no real way to distinguish us.
Once in a while, when talking to the boys, we would say something about "your other daddy blah blah blah" and my fear is that we would be known as "daddy and other daddy." It was confusing for Derek and me so I can't imagine how confusing it was for Jeff and Aaron as they started to really identify us as separate people.
Then one day I became "Michael."
Yep, my kids had turned into Bart Simpson and started calling me by my first name. I really wasn't a fan of that, but it certainly was better than "other daddy." It made sense they picked it up, though. Derek was always calling me "Michael" so of course they would call me that too.
Over a few months of correcting them it has finally become "Daddy Michael." Whew...my kids are no longer on a first name basis with me.
As for Derek, he has an official name, too. And I have to emphasize that I didn't steer the kids into picking this name. I still called him "daddy" 99% of the time. The kids, however, have started calling him "Daddy Derek" which, of course, makes sense. I love watching how their brains figure out language.
I have come to learn, though, that "Derek" is a much harder word to say than "Michael." So while my name is clear as a bell from both Aaron and Jeff here are their names for "Daddy Derek."
Aaron: Daddy Dee-lick
Jeff: Daddy Duh-guh
Thank goodness my relationship with Michael never worked out. My poor kids wouldn't know what to do!