Thursday, January 21, 2016

I Want It All And I Can't Have It

It's happening.  It's really, really happening and I'm freaking out.  It had to happen at some point and that point is now.  I'm about to spend a few days a week with adults.  It means adult conversations, using my brain for work and no dried Play-doh or Itsy Bitsy Spiders for several hours.  And it all kind of happened without me knowing it was happening.  Let me explain...

I went to an interpreting job and, long story short, the student liked me.  I went back the next week. She asked if I would be her interpreter for the spring semester.  I was excited to be offered this opportunity, but I didn't know if I could make it work.  The three sitters I had previously used were not available for the hours I needed.

Out of the blue a woman who I had worked with in Chicago told me her daughter was moving to Boston and looking for childcare work.

Hmmmm....this just might work!

As I was talking with the daughter about potentially being my new sitter I got offered a bunch of interpreting hours by another student.

All of a sudden I had offers for several days of work and a sitter.  I also had a role in a show this spring that was booked long ago, a job interpreting a show in May and another job to interpret a show that just popped up a couple weeks ago.

I grabbed work.  I booked the sitter.  I was so excited for all of this to happen.

And now it's happening.  Change -- even change you want -- can be scary.

I have been the primary caregiver to my boys since birth.  We have had sitters over the last few years, but I have always felt like I was there more often than not.  Now things are drastically changing: they are at school a few hours a day, a sitter will pick them up from school three days a week, I won't be making them lunch every day, and some nights I won't get to tuck them into bed.  I know it's good for me.  It's a big step to getting back a part of me that was lost for a long time.  I know it's good for them.  Their world is expanding beyond their parents.  The sitter is great and Jeff is in love with her even though he's known her for about 4 hours.  But it's still hard.  Someone told me, "You'll love the change.  After a few weeks of being out of the house you'll adjust and enjoy work and home more."  I believe it...but it doesn't make this transition easy.

Lord help me the day they leave for college.  Just a warning, folks, clear your schedule for the fall of 2030.  I'm going to needs lots of support -- and chocolate.

5 comments:

  1. I'll start stocking up on chocolate now! In the meantime, enjoy life outside of the sandbox, but never miss an opportunity to kiss your boys and tell them you love them!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'll start stocking up on chocolate now! In the meantime, enjoy life outside of the sandbox, but never miss an opportunity to kiss your boys and tell them you love them!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ataşehir Escort
    Kartal Escort
    istanbul anadolu yakası, avrupa yakası, escort bayanları sizleri beklemekte hemde onlıne

    ReplyDelete
  4. Maltepe Masajsalonu
    Üsküdar MasajSalonu
    istanbul anadolu yakası, avrupa yakası, masaj salonlarımız 7/24 hizmetinizde

    ReplyDelete