The Parent Test

Has it really been two years since I posted?  That's insane.  But it also makes some sense.  Life with almost 11 year old kids is much less chaotic than life with a couple of 4 year old kids.  Things are calmer.  The house is (just slightly) less messy.  My daily life is calmer.  The crazy behaviors of toddlers and young children have started to wane.  I have more time to be me and pursue my own life since I don't have to watch the kids every waking moment of their lives.

I now have tweens.  I have not been excited for the upcoming moody teen years.  That is something that I have always predicted would be rough.  Although I'm still not excited for the eye rolling and the mood swings, it doesn't scare me quite as much because I see that there are some positive parts to that stage, too.  My mother said she liked the teen years because she could have conversations with my brother and me that were more interesting and I get that now.

Our family conversations recently got interesting thanks to a TV show called "The Parent Test".  It's a reality show where parenting styles are "tested" with challenges to see which parenting style produces the most emotionally healthy kids and families.  The 12 styles include traditional, intense, free-range, negotiation, and more.

Yes, I know this is reality TV.  Yes, I get that this is not a scientific study.  Yes, I get that no parent is 100% of a style 100% of the time.  As I look at my own experiences as a parent I realize that I am a mix of a bunch of styles.  Sometimes I'm more permissive, sometimes I'm stricter, sometimes I'm more hands on, etc.  

This show was going to be for me and me alone.  However, my kids saw a commercial for it and wanted to watch it.  I was skeptical.  After watching a few episodes - first by myself and then with my kids - we have had some great conversations about why some parents push their kids to do math problems on the weekends, force their kids to eat food they hate, allow them to play in the dirt, etc. and why some parents do the exact opposite.  The show also has brought up issues of racism, abuse, and other heavy issues.  The show is helping them see that the choices we make as parents in a very messy, complex world are made out of love and because we want to teach skills that we think they need.  They are also learning there is not one right way to parent and no parent is perfect.

Reality shows get a bad rap.  I'm still angry about a network thinking "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire" was a good idea but gay marriage destroys the **cough cough** sacred **cough cough* institution of marriage.  But sometimes reality shows have a silver lining and can teach us a little more about the world and human experiences.