Eighty-Nine Dollars

Eighty-nine dollars is a lot of money to some people.  To other people, it doesn't mean much.  For me, it's somewhere in the middle.  I'm at a point in my life where I don't have to count how much I'm spending at the grocery store when I put things in my cart (I'm having flashbacks to trying to shop at Whole Foods years ago when I couldn't go over $20) but I'm also not at the point where I can spend $100 on a dinner and not get agita.

About six weeks ago I had a muscle in my back tense up and it HURT!  I'm not talking the kind of "I slept wrong" or "I pulled a muscle and it'll be OK in a few days" hurt.  I'm talking the "I am popping Advil like I own stock in it and I've been cuddling with my heating pad more than my husband" kind of hurt.  

I decided to go get a massage.  I was hoping that would help.  So I forked over $119 (plus tip!) to see if it would help.

It did...but it didn't.  I knew that it was a good decision to go, but the massage therapist told me the muscle was so tight he couldn't completely break it up.  I was still in pain.  

Two weeks later I went back and that's when I made a decision for myself.  I signed up for the monthly membership.  I get one massage a month for $89 (plus tip!).  It's money I could save for my kids' college.  It's money that I might use to send my kids to camp.  It's money that I could use to get my kids new shoes, or clothes, or piano lessons, or a birthday party, or toys, or...

Wait.

Maybe I could spend some money on myself???  Maybe I could take one hour a month to do something for me???  Maybe I could do something to relax and stay healthy???

It's funny how parenthood changes you.  When I was young and single I could do whatever I wanted for me.  I could spend my money any way I wanted because it only impacted me.  When I met Derek we both earned enough money that we could, for the most part, spend money any way we wanted.  The spending only impacted us but we were able to afford it.  Once Derek and I had kids, my earnings went down significantly and our spending went up.  My relationship with money changed.  For years my idea of splurging was buying lunch at Chipotle for 8 bucks but I definitely wouldn't buy a drink because who had two dollars for a soda?!?!?  With kids who are now more independent and my ability to work from home, I'm earning money again.  And I decided that I can take $89 a month for me.

It seems like a little thing, but it's not.  As a parent, we give up everything for our children.  We give up time, sleep, vacations, etc.  Slowly but surely we have to learn to take our lives back.  My kids are living their best lives - summer camp, chess club, music lessons, play dates, movies on demand, etc.  Maybe it's time I started to live my best life again as well.  If it's $89 to achieve that, I think it's worth it.