I have great parents. Make no mistake about that. The took care of me very well. Thirty-aomething years later they're still taking care of me by dropping their lives for 5 weeks to help with the twins and the move. They buy formula and wipes and diapers and let me sleep during the day. They love me even though I snap at them and hopefully they know it's from the lack of sleep. The one thing they didn't do for me was save a lock of my hair from my first haircut.
You see, I'm a second child. It's well known first children often get tons of pictures and memories. Parents know their first-born child's first word, remember the outfit he wore on his first birthday, kept her ankle tag from the hospital, etc. Second born children often have less to remember their firsts because their poor frazzled parents are trying to care for baby while preventing a two year old from electrocuting the cat or chewing on daddy's new iphone. I believe my parents were not overly sentimental capturing every coo, smile and fart my brother ever made on film (maybe I'm wrong) but I know that they do have a lock of hair from his first haircut. My first snip of hair is in a landfill in New Jersey somewhere.
My goal as a new dad was to document, document, document. At the baby shower I got a journal and I keep thinking, "oooh...I should write that down" and then don't and now I've realized the journal is packed in a box for our upcoming move. My documentation of my children's lives is lacking as of now, but if you've ever had newborn twins you'll forgive me. Showering and getting dressed by 3pm is a major ordeal. I believe on Maslow's hierarchy of needs writing down how many ounces of formula a baby takes is waaaaaaaay at the top and I'm functioning more on the bottom of the pyramid. Besides, Derek and I do have a lot of pictures and videos and isn't that more important than how many times baby sneezes per day?
Derek and I have been looking for a baby book to put in pictures of firsts, keep their hospital bracelets, write down their birth weights, etc. As we went to store after store we were disappointed.
Most books have a family tree page including mommy's side of the family and daddy's side of the family. Hmmmm...that won't work for us.
The books also have pages where mommy can write down her feelings during the pregnancy. That won't work either.
There is a page for who came to the baby shower and what gifts everyone gave. Well...we could maybe get a decent record for that page. I know who came but I don't think I know who gave what. Apparently people are supposed to buy baby books BEFORE the babies are born. I didn't know that.
A lot of books ask what baby was wearing when he came home from the hospital and what the weather was like. We have no idea about clothes. I know, I know...we're gay men but we're not the designer label type gays. I'm guessing the twins were wearing a onesie but who knows for sure. Nothing like feeling you've messed up parenting from day one because you don't know their first outfit at home!
Derek and I think we have to make our own 21st century baby book unless any of you out there know of a good baby book for gay parents. Our book willl include the things we think are important, not when baby's first lateral incisor on the left appeared. Seriously...that was a page in the baby book. Was that book made for children of dental hygienists and endodontists? If we like our book maybe we'll market it and make a million because it'll work for gay and lesbian parents. There are a lot of us out there these days.