Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Remembering Chloe

My surrogate, "Chloe," decided she would pump and was willing to give us her breast milk for the babies for which I will be eternally grateful and for which I need to give her a nice thank you gift too.  It has been a few weeks since she gave birth and she texted me last week to say that she had a decent supply of milk and wondered if I would come pick it up and bring the babies.

"YES!  Of course I'll come and you can see the twins again!" I said.

A few days ago we went to visit her.  Her sister and cousin were there as well.  It was nice to see them all again.  Unfortunately her mom was not able to be there.  We'll have to find time for the twins to see her mom one of these days.

Now I don't want to give you the wrong impression by saying my twins are bad or cry excessively because they really don't.  Sure, there is the occasional crying fit for an hour or two, but they are generally very happy children.  Sometimes, however, they cry when a bottle is taken out of their mouths during a feeding so they can be burped.  Although I tell them that food will come again, they somehow don't understand that concept.  And yes, my children are more brilliant and amazing than any other children on the face of the earth, but I guess three weeks of life on earth isn't quite enough for them to master the entire English language.  So there is some crying.

When we got to Chloe's house the kids came out of their car seats and went into Chloe's and her sister's laps for feedings.  There was almost no crying.  They seemed so peaceful and content to be with them.

The other thing to know is that Derek and I are the most brilliant and amazing parents on the face of the earth, but I kind of believe that there was something going on in the twins' brilliant and amazing minds that told them Chloe's home - the smells, the sounds, Chloe's voice -- was familiar and safe.  We may never get the technology to truly know what babies are thinking at three weeks old, but I think they are more aware than we think.  I've heard of other stories of children being calmed by "The Price Is Right" because their mothers watched it every day during the pregnancy or being soothed by Adele because her CD was always on for the last nine months.  I think there's something to it.  Anyone else have stories like this?


  1. I hope Chloe reads this post. It's beautiful. You're amazing, Michael.

  2. She is truly amazing! Our surrogate played stories Tony and I had recorded through belly buds every day and when she was born she immediately knew our voices. She still calms down whenever Tony reads her the stories he had recorded. Your babies are very lucky to be getting the "liquid gold" our surrogate pumped for Zoey for the first 4 months and Zoey THRIVED. AMAZING women surrogates, I tell ya.

  3. Chloe is TRULY AMAZING!!! I want to mail her a card! :) Yes, the twins definitely know Chloe's voice and probably her sister and mom's voices too. So they feel safe when they hear their voices. I mean, 9 months is a long time. I have a similar experience where my interpreter went with me to every doctors appt and I hung out with the interpreter as well throughout the 9 months. Of course my son heard the interpreter's voice when she terped for me. That same terp was at my delivery as well. Giovanni was very calm in her arms and knew her voice immediately. As he got older, he would get excited to see her! Amazing how babies work!

  4. Absolutely! This is exactly why I suggested the BellyBuds for my IP's. They live on the other side of the world - so dropping by for breastmilk and a chat isn't going to be an option. I am hoping that their son will be calmed by their voices from the start, even though he won't be hearing myself, husband, children and dogs anymore. Smells are very very powerful (it is how an un-drugged newborn baby is able to literally crawl from the stomach to the chest of his mother to get milk) but sounds are too.

  5. New follower here. Very beautiful post. I think those two little ones sound very aware indeed.

  6. I will never forget the first time my daughter was old enough to really express herself and when "Landslide" came on the radio she asked me why she knew that song... I listened to it all the time when I was pregnant and she *always* became active when it was on! Then as a newborn it served as a way to soothe her... Aren't babies amazing? Congrats again, sounds like fatherhood suits you guys well - and Chloe continues to be a rock star!